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09

By Ed Ainsworth

 

"Alright, so I'm the origin of life on the planet; the hand of Darwin . What's the point in telling me this, I travel through time, I'm a chrononaut, this is.well, life science."

Mr. Cow looked at Kid Eternity and they both smiled.

"We're glad you asked. Shortly, the whole world's going to go mental for a group of people, at the Heart of it is Buddy Baker, the Animal Man. When you yakked up your guts at the beginning of time, you created the biggest lot of Diversity in the universe, and Buddy is tapped into that."

"He's your Vomit baby." Kid Eternity added, before going back to looking over the edge of the giant World Tree.

"You're created, you're part of the life web there, Rip Hunter, and you and your specific expertise are going to be needed when we go to war with the Planet."

"The Planet?"

"Yeah, from the world tree, we see the future, and luckily, we got ourselves an anchor to the present, Say hello Celery Stick." Mr. Cow chuckled through his drooling jowls.

A tiny seedling snaked its way towards Rip, a familiar face sprouting from the top of it.

"Rip.we.need your.help" Swamp thing said, in a tiny, tiny voice, barely filling the space between his vegetable vocal chords and Rips ear.

"Is it always this weird?" Rip turned to Kid Eternity, who removed his shades and winked at him.

"It gets f*&king unreal."

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Zauriel's wings twitched, as they always did before something big. This was the slow build, and he needed to get Anna and Tristess away from here. Already his avian eyes could see the glint in the distance. Before long, electromagnetic energies would tear through the camp and incinerate the people.

"Tristess, by all that is Holy we need to get you and Anna away from here. If you do not believe my word, then simply look before you. As a leader of a church that worships nature, does that look natural to you?" He pointed towards the glint, ruffling his wings and walking to Anna.

"Goddess, what is that?"

"Electromagnetic doom. The New Guardians are coming to seize the world soul, if they possess Anna then they can control the outcome of this planet, down to the evolutionary potential displayed by all its occupants."

Zauriel grabbed Anna under his right arm, and threw Tristess over his left shoulder, before beating his powerful wings to lift them off the ground.

"We go to her Father, and then we launch our final battle, Tristess, and please, do try not to exclaim the Presence's name in vain."

"Why, can he hear me?"

"Of course he can, but that's not the point. It's just tacky now."

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James Highwater held Platinum in his arms, as Vixen lay crumpled in the remains of a wrecked car. She was cold to the touch, and he knew something was dreadfully wrong with her.

"Tina, whats going on? You're not supposed to behave this way. You're supposed to project us all from all the crazy stuff, you're supposed to protect me!"

Tina looked up at him, spikes tearing across her body, impaling James. His eyes snapped open and blood spurted from the wounds and tickled from his mouth.

"Tina?"

"The New Guardian's are here to give us all a new place in Utopia, James. You were just a means to an end; everything was just a means to an End."

Tina got to her feet, and gave Vixen a final kick to the stomach, sending her soaring into the air and onto the ground a few feet away.

Platinum then shifted her lower legs into a spring, bouncing away from her "crime" scene, away from the laboratory as well, leaving both Vixen and James Highwater in a bad way.

Tears leaked from James' eyes as his head hit the ground, watching the woman he was starting to care for bounce away. It did strike him it was like watching a messed up version of the Magic roundabout.

A red glow absorbed James for a moment, he thought it was just blood vessels bursting in his eyes, but this was something more. He could see the tiny parasitic organisms that lived on the surface of his eye, the parasitic flatworms swimming in the aqua of his eyes.

"What's going on?"

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Metamorpho and Lady Quark walked hand in hand towards the Baker residence. Elasti-Woman sat on the steps to the house, a lit cigarette in her fingertips. She wasn't smoking it, she was watching it burn, watching the wafts of smoke that pulled themselves off the end of the stick and up into the air.

"Are you okay?" Quark asked, quickly retracting her hand from Metamorphos.

Elasti-Woman looked up and dropped the cigarette under her foot.

"Sorry. I was just." She trailed off seeing Metamorpho and Lady Quark release their hands from each other.

"You two? Really?" She said, getting to her feet and brushing off her jeans.

"I wouldn't have seen that coming."

"Well, you're a super hero, we live in a weird world," Rex said, opening the door to the Baker residence.

"Especially when Buddy is around," Quark commented, pulling her long white hair back into a pony tail, and walking inside.

"Buddy?" she questioned. Ever since the altercation with the Swarm he'd been withdrawn, dejected, caring for his family every way he could. He was currently asleep on the couch downstairs with Maxine in his lap.

"We shouldn't wake them." Rita whispered, pulling them both into the kitchen.

"Have either of you heard from Platinum? She's been missing for a bit. Last I heard she was collecting 'samples' for Buddy." Rita pulled out a chair and sat down quietly, as Rex closed the door.

"Samples? What kind of samples?" Rex questioned, leaning against the door and watching Quark sit down.

"DNA samples? Animal Samples? To help rebuild the Red?"

"You'd think that, wouldn't you?" Rex said, moving away from the door and placing a hand on Quarks shoulder.

"You think there's something more sinister going on, Rex?" Rita asked, knitting her fingers together.

"Yeah. I do actually, this isn't the Buddy I remember from the JLE days.this is someone else. He's more driven, but less focused. It doesn't make sense, he's got all these plans and all of us, but there's no structure to it. No real underlying idea, it's like he just wants to have a bit of everything." Rex brushed his fingertips against Quarks neck gently, and then continued to move over to the sink.

"I get what you mean, Rex. There is definitely something odd going on.Wha?" Rita's head snapped around as Buddy burst through the doorway of the Kitchen, looking panicked.

"I need all of you, there's something big coming this way, and I've lost contact from the lab."

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Buddy and his small team charged out of the house, to see Zauriel, carrying Anna and Tristess with him down towards the house. He landed awkwardly, dropping Tristess and skidding on his side holding Anna.

"Anna? Tristess? What the hell are you doing here?" He yelped, leaping over Zauriel to pry Anna from his arms.

"I was.protecting them, Animal Man." Zauriel said painfully, sitting up and flexing his wings. He pointed up to the bright light in the sky.

"Animal Man, the New Guardians are coming, and they want the World Soul." Zauriel was helped to his feet by Rita, before turning to the small group.

"Animal Man's daughter houses the world soul. She is the future of this planet, and for them to seize it they would be able to take control of evolution, of everything the presence has put to work here, it must not happen!" As Zauriel made his speech, Platinum bounced over the houses in the street, and shot out her spiked fists, her arms stretching to be mere fibers of metal.

The first fist shot through Metamorpho who shifted to Gaseous form, whilst the other was deflected by Zaurial's wrist guard.

"They are not to get Anna, under any circumstances. We must fight and defeat them here, or die trying!" Zauriel produced his flaming Sword, and held it high, the other three heroes rallying behind him, Elasti-Woman growing to a vast size, 60 feet tall, and clapping her massive hands together to try and deflect the group; however, those were just the harbingers.

"Zauriel, just HOW many of these things are there?" Rita asked, as Rex shifted into mist form around her legs, and energy poured from Lady Quark's eyes and fists.

"The original New Guardians, plus Platinum, and an army of Mutates," He stated, swinging his flaming sword up to intercept another attack from Platinum.

"AN ARMY?!" Buddy yelled, looking into the sky as it grew dark.

"An army." Zauriel said quietly.

"How the HELL are we supposed to win against that sort of odds?" Buddy said, clutching Anna to his chest, and sprinting over to the small grouping.

"We pray for a Miracle."

"You'll need more than a Miracle, Angel." Extrano, the formerly over the top camp gay member of the New Guardians slowly lowered himself to the ground, holding the Crystal skull in his hands, his long leather trench coat splayed out behind him.

Slowly the other New Guardians descended. Ram, the Japanese Silicon life form, was apparently controlling the actions of Platinum, who had bounced over to him and draped herself about his shoulders. He stood, arms wide and ready to fight, locking his eyes onto Quark.

The two-who-are-one, Jet and Harbinger landed together, Jet who had died of "Super AIDS" many years ago had been resurrected by Extrano, along with Harbinger. The two women were both made of light now, and communicated with Extrano and Ram by emitting hi-intensity light bursts on different wavelengths.

Gloss, who appeared to be very unlike herself; lithe and malnourished; her hair looked as brittle as fiberglass, and energy seemed to be leaking from her pores. She stood almost wavering next to Thomas Kalmaku, who appeared as nothing more than a naked, genderless being comprised entirely from light.

The final member to touch down was the Floronic Man, whose vegetable body was covered in swollen tubers, ready to burst with poisonous gases and spores, he had constructed himself a shield and sword from sharp grasses and hard bark.

Extrano opened his mouth to speak, as the hundreds of Mutates about them circled, tails, claws and teeth gnashing and thrashing above the five lone heroes.

"Give us the World Soul, and we make it quick."

 

Next issue:

It's getting hot isn't it? More on Vixen and James Highwater, LOTS of violence as Buddy and his team fight against the New Guardians. See nature unveiled, and what are the Parliament of Clades ACTUALLY going to do about all of this?